Several years ago I lost my beautiful Aunt Felicia to cervical cancer...she was honestly the most amazing woman ever...she was EVERYTHING I pray Bella grows up to be...she was sweet, caring, accepting, unconditional love is the only way this beautiful soul knew how to love. I always turned to her to make my bad times great...I remember when I was "surprised" with my pregnancy at 19..EVERYONE reacted negativly at first...except for her..she opened her arms embraced me and assured me everything would be ok...and she was right..not only did everything turn out ok...it turned ok GREAT! The day she died...was the day the extended family began its crumbling...because the glue was gone. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of her...not only did I have a special bond with her but so did my kids...especially Bella, to this day you can't mention Felicia's name infront of Bella because she starts crying..and we had to put away her picture because it made Bella sad to remember. I enjoyed many things with Felicia...but one of my favorites was going to the fabric store with her...she was a talented seamstress and she ADORED making the CUTEST lil dresses for Bella...vintage-y looking doll inspired dreamed dresses..I ofcourse still have every single one she ever made her and its why I am secretly praying I have a baby girl so that I can put them on her too.
I will forever miss my Feli and know God has a true angel by his side.
a few months before she died we went to what would be our final trip to the fabric store together...drooling over fabrics we chose a few patterns and were on our way...she was set to start on WHAT ELSE but some new dresses for Bella but she never got the chance to...she declined very quickly.
So for several years The fabric sat in my craft drawer..staring back at me..striking my heart with sadness and happiness at the same time everytime I touched it...I couldnt bare to use it or take sissors to it. Then last week Bella saw them and SHRIEKED at the cuteness of the Panda print..she asked about them..I told her...we had a moment and then decided it was time.
I wanted to use it to bring cheer..be seen by all of us everyday..so Bella and I decided we would make a cheerful lil banner for the backyard...and so we got to work...and this is what we got.
Already I have smiled so many times in the past couple days when I look out in the backyard while the kids are playing out there and see the banner and its cheerful goodness.
I love you FELICIA...you are the greatest woman I have ever known.